The first 4 weeks and our first photo shoot

I figured that I'd write an entry to catch up to where we are today but everything seems to be a blur. Before my dad left, Nathan was introduced to my dad's mother and siblings though he slept through most of it. The McKenzie group came over on a Saturday for lunch and luckily my dad planned the meal and picked up food at Publix. If it was left up to me, everyone would have gotten a pickle and a glass of water; I was still just trying to put one foot in front of the other at that point!

On Sunday, my dad left and Britton's two weeks of paternity leave started. With both of us home, we were able to concentrate on getting into a routine and really focusing on breast-feeding. We had visits with a lactation consultant, watched videos, and sat down together to address the problems from all angles. It seems that Nathan has a general inability to latch well, stay latched and actually drink at the breast. He is quite capable of chomping down on my nipples and causing a LOT of pain but this does not provide him with food. I began to have problems producing enough milk, probably because not enough milk was being drawn from me despite a few pumping session a day. At three weeks, we decided to give up breastfeeding. :-( This was the hardest, most painful decision that we've had to make. It still makes me sad and I'm tearing up as a type this...I wanted the special breastfeeding experience that everyone talks about but it just didn't work out for us. However, the bright side is that I'm pumping like crazy now and am producing enough to supply over half of his daily intake. Also, feeding sessions are much more relaxed and special now because I hold my sweet baby in my arms and he seems to appreciate the bottle as he stares up at me and we have non-painful, stress-free mommy/baby time.

During the second week of Britton's time at home, we started to put Nathan on a schedule. Following a schedule has worked wonders for Nathan's cousin, Connor, and we are hoping that it will work well for Nathan too. The first 5 days were a struggle: trying to keep him up at certain times to get him to sleep at other times was the hardest part. It is still difficult to keep him up toward the end of his "awake times," but he is doing really well on the schedule. This week he has finally only been waking up once between 11pm and 7 am. And when he does wake up in the middle of the night, he is happy to be fed and put back to sleep. Good baby! Unfortunately, I still have to pump...so that's another 20-30 minutes that I'm up.

We had our first family photos taken with Nathan when he was three weeks old and included some of our favorite photos in this blog entry.

I guess that sums up the first 4 weeks. I think it's important to note that, though I LOVE Nathan more than I ever imagined was possible, the first few weeks were HARD. I cried every day for the first 3 weeks, usually a few times a day. I was never depressed, just exhausted, overwhelmed, under-slept, and disappointed with my lack of success with breastfeeding (though some would say I am breastfeeding, he's just not getting it from the tap). The 4th week was better but still very overwhelming and I still would love to sleep all night, just once! Everyone will report how great motherhood is (and it IS!) but only your best girlfriends will tell you about the parts that were really tough and how many times they cried. Thank you to my friends who shared with me their times of woe as well as their times of bliss so that I could better understand what I was going through!!! I'm truly grateful!

Yes, the last picture is seriously cute, we know. ;-) How could anyone not love that face?!!!